Motherhood Maternity is the low-end store of the MaternityMall.com trio that also includes the expensive Pea in the Pod (which both Dug and my sister insist on calling "Pea in the Poo" because of the ridiculous font they use for their branding) and the mid-range Mimi Maternity.
Pea is nice but overpriced, Mimi's okay but a little trendy and lower-quality, and Motherhood is cheap crap. I picture design meetings like this:
Exec #1: So, show us what you've got for spring.
Designer: Well, I have this...
Exec #2: Oh, nice.
Exec #3: Yes, that's lovely. Pea?
#1 and #2: Definitely Pea.
Designer: And then there's this. I was thinking silk.
#2: Well, that's okay.
#1: Make it rayon and it'll be great for Mimi.
#2: Totally agree.
Designer: And then this, but I'm not happy with it.
#1: Oh, that's awful.
#2: Just hideous.
#3: That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I wouldn't use it as a rag to wash my car.
#1: Let's make it in fuschia polyester and sell it at Motherhood.
#2 and #3: Genius!
Anyway. I went into the Motherhood outlet yesterday just on the off change that there might be some gem at a low-low price, something new to wear for the next two months after wearing the same five outfits for what seems like forever. Nothing, of course, but as I flipped through a rack I observed this conversation:
Lady in changing room: Oh, this isn't good. It makes me look huge.
Mom outside of changing room, in obnoxious, cheery voice: You're SUPPOSED to look huge!
Sister or possibly very bad friend outside of changing room, in same voice: You're PREGNANT!
Mom: Here, try this one!
Lady in changing room: This is an extra large. I'm not an extra large.
Mom: Sure you are!
Sister or bad friend: You're PREGNANT!
Rather than get involved in a family quarrel, I just left the store. I was almost in tears for the poor changing room lady.
