Food Issues (the beginning of the end)

I've tried begging Molly to eat things, and I've tried yelling, and I've tried bribing both directly and with a sticker chart, and she just isn't open to that.

Maggie will eat anything, has hardly encountered a food that didn't meet with her approval.

From now on, neither of these behaviors is a big deal in this house. The new motto is: She's eating what she wants to eat. This is what Dug and I will remind one another if one of us starts to slip into hassling Molly about her choices, or praising Maggie for hers.

I don't want food to be a big deal. I don't want Molly to think I love Maggie more because she eats my cooking with gusto, I don't want Maggie to think that Molly is something special for getting away without trying new foods. And likewise, I don't want Maggie thinking my love for her is predicated on her appetite, or for Molly to get the idea that she can manipulate us through food or anything else.

From now on, food is offered at the table, the choice to eat it or not is made by the child, and we carry on with our dinner together. Molly is not special for turning something down, Maggie is not special for wanting seconds. They will eat what they want to eat, of the foods provided for them at the time.

I don't know if it will work, if Molly will one day say yes to peas after three years of horror at the very thought of them. But that's not really the point, the point is that I'm not going to spend the rest of my life emotionally involved in whether or not one of my daughters eats peas, and neither are they.

Comments

[Heather]

Sounds like a very sensible plan. I've never made a big deal out of my DD's appetite, although she generally eats quite well. Some days she doesn't though, when excited because she has a friend over, or is going somewhere special later, or just decides that she doesn't like peas that day.

Good luck and glad to have you back.

[Amanda]

AMEN.

[Angela]

I can relate. I have picky eaters that are on the bottom of the charts on weight, so it's been especially nerve wracking. But I have finally given way to your method. I don't "cook" for more than 10 or 15 minutes, because the garbage disposal's going to get most of it anyway.

[Grammy]

Hey, I totally agree with you. Just don't make an issue of it. Molly will eat when she is hungry and not bother the rest of the time. T and T both grew up and they were very picky eaters. I seem to remember a time when you only wanted macroni and cheese for weeks on end. Just relax and go with the flow. We don't want food to be a manipulative issue for anyone.

[Alisyn]

I think this is a great plan, and not least of all because it requires you and Dug to do NOTHING! Well, nothing but shop, cook, do dishes and give your garbage disposal a good work out. But weren't you gonna do that anyway?

[Jenn]

We're trying the same plan with our two, but still they press on with their self-imposed starvation diet. I try not to hyperventilate (at least too audibly), but man, it's tough. I sure relate.

[CityMama]

I am blogging this for BB. Hope that 's ok!.